Thursday, June 3, 2010

A Letter From My Mother

January 2007

Girl I got some bad news for you. Brace yourself, and please don't scream or cry. The

Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated

pokes in the belly. Let moma know, he was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including; Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack,

The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site

was piled high with FLOURS. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as

a man who never knew how much he was KNEADED. Doughboy ROSE quickly in show business, but

later life was filled with many TURNOVERS. He was not considered a very SMARTCOOKIE,

wasting much of his DOUGH on HALF-BAKED schemes. Despite being a little FLAKEY at times, he

still was a crusty old man and was considered a great ROLL model for millions. Doughboy is

survived by his wife PLAY DOUGH, 2 children; John Dough & Jane Dough, plus they had 1 in the

OVEN. He is also survived by his elderly father POP TART. The funeral was held @ 3:50 for about

20 minutes.

Love Mom

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